No(ah), No(ah) – It’s Too Loud, By Gael Hannan
By Gael Hannan, Hearing Health Matters 4/8/2014
In hindsight, we should have picked the movie about the spelling bee over the cute animals marching two by two into Russell Crowe’s ark.
I mean, how loud can a spelling bee be, whereas Noah turned out to be a surprise candidate for the Loudest Movie I’ve Ever Seen award. But who knew? The
Spoiler Alert: Noah is too loud with non-stop visual effects.other choices for a movie night with the Hearing Husband and my hearing friend Wendy were action/thriller films that we figured would be too loud with non-stop and over-the-top visual effects.
While it’s not a religious movie, there are angels in the form of gigantic stone-lava transformers. And there are hordes of screaming people who can’t swim and don’t have tickets for the ark. When le déluge starts, the water comes not only from the sky, but from mighty geysers roaring up from the earth, hundreds of feet in the air, presumably as part of the Creator’s plan to get that boat afloat as quickly as possible. And all of these noise sources happen at the same time, creating a mega-decibel cacophony that almost melted my hearing aids.
I wish I had been able to turn on the Decibel Meter app on my cellphone to measure the volume. But I didn’t have any free fingers. I had taken out one of my in-the-ear hearing aids because it was magnifying the already loud noise (when is compression supposed to kick in?) in a sensory onslaught that made my head vibrate and my eyeballs ache.
My other hand was helping to balance my popcorn and drink, because the drink holder contained my CaptiViewcaption thingy. (I’ve complained about this before; if my caption device is in the drink holder, I have to hold the huge drink in my lap. A shout out to movie chains – get the Sony Caption Glasses system. It places the captions where you want them and leaves your hands free for food, drink and hearing aids.) . . .